Ungrateful Gratitude

Ungrateful Gratitude

What happens when you know the “right state” to be in is one of gratitude and acceptance but all you really feel like saying is f*ck it?  And what you really feel is the opposite of gratitude….ungrateful gratitude.

You’re in a bad mood

angry

upset

irritable

The day just keeps getting worse and WORSE you feel like you want to explode

things

just

keep

spiralling….

You know deep down inside you’re not really THAT person. The kind of person that lashes out, picks fights, overreacts, or is petty….. but today it happened…… and you feel terrible.

What then?

Because of our self imposed views on what’s “good or bad” behaviour we end up feeling bad about ourselves. Like we’re a “bad person” and that we should know better, we’re disappointed in ourselves and feel upset

Here’s the deal though…

Maybe we did know better, maybe we could’ve had more self control, maybe stooping to that level wasn’t really necessary at all…but still …..it happened and that doesn’t mean a thing about who we are as a person.

So it was a bad decision. Yes you hurt someone, yes you didn’t act like you wish you had, yes you totally regret what you did, yes it was terrible but that doesn’t make you less of a person or even a bad person. 

We’re only human, mistakes happen, bad decisions are made and at times we’re just as bad and share the same qualities as the people we most dislike. But on the flip side, there’ s times we’re just as good as the people we most admire…..whether it be Mother Teresa, Richard Branson, The Dalai Lama, Warren Buffett…..it sounds far fetched to compare ourselves to such extremes but it’s true.

We’re a spectrum of good and bad….never completely good, never completely bad. Yin and yang, are both equally within us but it’s our CONSCIOUS CHOICE which one we choose to embody most of the time.

That’s the key

Who are you most of the time?

Do you like that person? Is that the person you want to be?

If not, change it, but forgive yourself when you feel ungrateful, snappy, angry or petty. Accept that part of yourself in that moment and move on.

Because who you were a moment ago, can be different from the YOU that you choose in the next moment. Instead of focusing on how bad you were in the past, look at who you want to be in THIS moment which will lead you to who you are in the future and do that.

Because your MINDFUL choice over time is really who you are as person. Who are you consciously choosing to be MOST of the time? When you’re acting from a place of awareness, that’s who you really are….not the hiccup, the outlier, the bad day or the random outburst.

So next time you’re feeling bad about yourself, skip the self imposed PUNCHING BAG and let yourself off the hook.

You noticed it, so now you have the awareness, NOW you can DECIDE and choose to be

LIVING THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE

————————————————————————–

Ungrateful Gratitude 

You thought you weren’t worthy

Because the monster you became

 

You yelled and screamed and bitched at me

You saw tears run down my face

 

It was in that moment that you realized

When I looked upon your face

 

That my tears stung you harder

Than any words or pain you felt

 

It was in that moment that you realized

I’m only hurt because I care

 

I hurt because I know you

And there’s so much more right there

 

There’s a person who is caring

Full of laughter, warmth and smiles

 

There’s a person who gives meaning

To my life and makes it all worthwhile

 

I see you as that person

Not this monster you became

 

To me you are that person

Full of goodness

Who is kind

 

You were a monster for a moment

Just like all of us in time

No one’s ever really perfect

No one always gets it right

 

You hurt me but I take you

For everything you are

For that monster and those good times

When you gave me everything you had

 

Your kindness was amazing

That reflection in your eyes

Of true love and deep meaning

It was worth it all this time

 

Because to me you are that person

I accept and I adore

Regardless of the moment

Good or bad

You’re so much more

 

 

Give us your thoughts!

  • Kat Heart Conscious Entrepreneurs

    Ahhhhh so good to hear!

    I’m new to blogging and all this stuff so I wasn’t even sure how to check that! Thanks for letting me know 🙂

    PHewf! Thanks for the kind words

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  • Kat Dominguez

    Thanks so much for reading sydney! 🙂 Gratitude is an interesting thing because it’s practiced in many ways but sometimes people get caught up in thinking there is a “way” to practice gratitude like journaling everyday or looking in the mirror and saying what you’re grateful for.

    What I feel is that it’s a personal practice that can take all shapes and forms. A thank you to a stranger, looking up at the sky and smiling because you realize it’s a privilege to see the sunset, pausing for a moment in the middle of your walk to stop and smell a flower. There’s an abundance of ways to feel grateful, the important thing is remembering it’s a practice and to truly live it….in whatever way that means to you.

  • There is definately a lot to find out about this topic.
    I like all the points you have made.